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Dear Funky Uncle Lester... I recently had an affair with my best friend's husband and now the guilt is killing me...Should I tell my girlfriend or continue to hold my peace and hope that the guilt will one day go away?

Best Friend,
Chicago IL

Dear Low Down Bitch.... I mean Best Friend, if you tell her, guilt won't be the only thing killing your trifling ass. With best friends like you, a person doesn't need enemas. YOU should go away today...far far away from that couple. In case you need a definition for the word trifling here it is:

a thing of little value or importance , trivial, unimportant, insignificant, inconsequential, petty, minor, of little/no account, of little/no consequence, footling, pettifogging, incidental; silly, idle, insipid, superficial, small, tiny, inconsiderable, nominal, negligible, nugatory; informal piddling, derives from Old French truffler ‘mock, deceive.’

Funky Unc

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