My man of 5 years is an avid "herbal essences" partaker. I have known this about him since we met. He is a caring and responsible father and a wonderful man to me. Recently, he has been trying to quit smoking. He wants to find a better job and he knows he may have to take a drug test. I also think he wants to quit. Maybe he's tired of it. But anyway, everytime he goes 1 day without "chiefing", he turns into a wicked, mean person to me and the children. He snaps at us and just acts like he hates being here. His nerves are so bad that it seems he's going to jump out his skin. We NEVER fuss, unless he ain't high and then we fuss all the time. I want to support him if he wants to quit, but I also want his ass to get his MEDICINE (if you know what I mean)...Please, help!
Smokeless In Seattle
Dear Boo, first of all let me apologize for not getting to your letter sooner. Unc had to lay low in LA (Lower Alabama) for a couple of weeks because of a misunderstanding with a hefty high yella heifer named "Vanilla Strawberri" who works at Club Camel Toe. She took offense to my attempts to make it "drizzle" during her routine. Short story was I was on my way to the coin star machine with a bag of coins and my nephew Tony "Creole Actor" had the bright idea of stopping at the club instead. Let's just say it got real ugly real quick and let's leave it at that.
Sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place. Speaking of rocks, be glad he's not on that shit. I left my first first wife because she was on rocks. Ironically, she wasn't smoking them, but eating them (and us out of house and home). But that's another story altogether.
Pick your poison. Do you want a man who can't get gainfully employed because he smokes, but he's genial and great to be around, or do you encourage him to quit and he's moody and volatile but bringing home the bacon (or turkey bacon if you don't do pork). The choices today's black women are faced with...hmmmm...
Ultimately it's up to him to step up to the plate and do what's right for the family. You sound like a really loving and supportive woman and if he's smart he knows that too and values your support. If he does decide to quit cold turkey we could do an emergency intervention and send him to spend a week locked up with my 4th ex-wife Gladys. One thing's for sure when he comes back he won't be the same. He'll either quit altogether or start drinking.
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